Afternoon in a new town

Hello to everyone who may peek or glance at this journal of mine. I'm thinking of starting a new one, since this thing is so huge that no one gets to see the older posts that are sometimes fun to read.

Anyway, I'm here in Seattle at the huge library downtown, and am getting very excited about job opportunities here as well as looking for a place to live. So far, the people Jozie and I have been hanging around have made us feel right at home. I'm sure things will start to get a whole helluva lot tougher in the days to come, with work hopefully starting, and rent to pay, and bills to stay caught up on. Ah yes, growing up is for the birds, but if you wanna learn to fly, you gotta jump head first out of the nest.

Until my next blurb of excitement, keep in touch, and brush your teeth regularly.

Summer afternoons...

Holy shit... I'm really doing this.

Quite the shock to the ol' system... It seems I'm ready for this sudden sharp turn in life. I have no clue what's in store, but I'm ready to finally see what I've been looking for in the past few years. I'm sure when I'm away for awhile, I'll start to think about other dreams and other aspirations.. but for now, my goal is to make it out to somewhere that I don't have a single clue.

There are thousands of people who just pick up and move, and they take life as it comes. I've been spoiled with a comfortable life thus far, and it's about time little kev grows up. Ya know, say goodbye to ma and pa... sister, brother.. friends, family of all kinds and just move on.

It's frightening actually, for a boy from the midwest to even dream of something like this. At least in my own world, this all seems like the furthest thing from reality I can think of. Yet, when I'm in Seattle, I feel as if it's the most real thing I could ever feel. For once, I'm living life in a totally different city, that isn't the middle of America, the most craziest, most plain, most unmotivated location in central Indiana..

But that's okay, I was born in Greenwood, probably because my parents wanted to raise me in a safe environment, in which I could feel safe and secure. That was a great move, because I was indeed safe and secure, and the occassional out-of-town trip would suprise everyone in the family with a view of the outside world. I was raised in a bubble, that's okay... That bubble was surrounded by reality every moment, I was just too young to imagine it. But now as I grow older, I realize the effect of the world coming from all over the globe and starting to enter into my neighborhood, and into my life. Me.. a kid from Greenwood, IN.. who thought about nothing but playing tag and hide and go seek at night.. now thinks about terrorism, and war, and blood and guts, and carnage, and death, and the list goes on..

There's a part in everyone that makes them wish they were kids again, because they could think of nothing but enjoying the day the way it is. God, I miss those days...

Bright Future

I feel a huge piece of me leaving, as if it was almost meant to be seperated from me. I've had enough of this, I'm leaving for good, and all I'll have is my hands, my feet, my friend, and the road ahead of us. I'm scared for sure, but I'm ready. For once in my short existence, I'm ready. To move on, to keep going, to remain ever-changing.

Don't get me wrong, I'm going to miss everything here. But what is life.. if I'm sitting around thinking of all the things I'm going to miss someday? Is missing something mean more than actually moving on? Sometimes I have trouble with moving on, because I love to be nostalgic, and I love to dramatize events.. but for some reason, everything I've been worrying about is slowly fading into my rearview. Like rain that washes the nasty shit off the streets, I'm slowly working through everything I've been trying to forget.

How many days have you tried to forget a certain someone, or a certain place, or certain occassion.. then one day you finally have forgotten about it, and it hits you. It was in the past, it's over.. it's time to move on. Many of us don't get that far, and depression sets in because we all think we can't do better. But I'm here to tell you, the whole entire human race, if you give it time, it will certainly slip away from you. If I would have told myself this two years ago, I would have laughed.

Everyday I live allows me to become farther away from the moments I remember the most, and the ones I'm trying to get over. Past relationships especially.. you create all these memories to one day enjoy, and then that day ends, and you're stuck trying to forget all those good times you experienced.

I'm rambling because I'm lost in thought. I loved the time I spent with my previous girlfriend. It was fun, it was challenging, it was youthful and innocent. Until one day I started getting to serious, and somehow life turned upside down.. Boom, broken up with. Now I'm in a totally new long-term relationship, and I have to ask myself if all that fuss and crying and whining was reall worth it. Was all that bitching worth it in the end if she was really meant to be with someone else, and I was supposed to be with someone else?

Eh.. let's skip that past, and move on to the future. Bright future, in Seattle, with Jozie.. new memories, new opportunities, one more chance to be vulnerable... and I wouldn't do it with anyone else right now. I'm finally ready to move on. Cheers to that...

In other violence...

I quote from the Associated Press, while I throw up..

"In other violence, a U.S. soldier was killed and three were wounded Wednesday when a bomb exploded in the city of Samarra, 60 miles north of Baghdad, the U.S. military said. The military also said another American soldier was killed Tuesday by a bomb in Iskandariyah, 30 miles south of Baghdad."

- Excerpt from "Baghdad Stampede Kills 950 Shiite Pilgrims"

There you have it, we've now created sports-like commentaries on such a topic as violence. As if the article wasn't bad enough, 950 die in one day.. but then to switch topics by saying "In other violence".. that's just sick.

Keep your heads up kids, the weather aint' gettin' much better..