This Invention Plot..

I've made up my mind, and I'm moving to Seattle. What I'm looking for..? I don't know. I know that I'm looking to turn the record over, so I can get a different set of 5 songs. If you collect enough change on the sidewalk, eventually you'll have enough to make a change. I can't write anymore, because there's nothing else to say about all that. I've been preparing for it so much, now it's finally here.. I'll be moving on with my life, passing through the walls of my littly city, in search of what's beyond.

Now if only I can get the shit-mess thrown away in my room, and get a big more organized, I'll be ready.

Using all my senses..

I finally have something more powerful to miss than the memory of a past friendship. I finally have my chance to move on. As if anyone really gives two shits. Am I right? I'm just some sappy dude on a blog writing things for myself to read. Who actually reads this? I have no clue.. Are they thinking.. oh man, this guy's weird.. I'd never hire someone who thinks crazy, deep thoughts.

Then on the other hand, is my stuff, my thoughts, my drawings, my work.. is it all really that 'deep' ? I'm bein very critical of myself, don't you think? So many people are.. And because why? What are we trying to be perfect for. Who are we trying to be perfect for. Are we every really going to be perfect? Am I ever going to make perfect artwork? Self criticism is such a bad drug, so stop taking it.

It seems the one thing any of us have in common anymore is our fear of eachother. We're all scared to meet eachother... Wait, what am I saying? Am I generalizing the entire population? hmmm Let me start this over.. I'm scared to meet people, and I have this feeling that other people are fearful to meet anyone else. Perhaps it's the thought of having to know one more person.. having to remember one more name, one more birthday, one more telephone address, one more person's life story in which you have a choice to either listen, or walk away.

Yes, why meet anyone new? Why should I trust that you're not going to be some nutcase who either a.wants my money, b.wants to find some weird way to mess with my head, c.bust out a gun and start shooting.. I mean.. hell, people who are normal and average are now freaking out and shooting guns everywhere, or showing up on the news that they were serial killers for numbers of years while hiding it as a normal, everyday life?.. what the deuce?

And then I went and got all philisophical and tried to answer life's meaning and try to figure out the key reason as to why I was thrusted into this world through the womb of my mother. I thought it would be a great idea to figure out why that little sperm swam a good distance to reach the little egg that would become me someday. So you see, if you are still reading this.. that means that I haven' bored you to death, and that.. in fact... you actually found your way to my website, and I thank you for that. I was going to write about my trip experience, some minor details that made me laugh, and I knew my brother would enjoy.. but instead I'll just leave you with some common knowledg and subtle pieces of advice. Thank you..

I am convinced that life is made up of nothing but meetings, greetings, hello's and goodbyes..

I'm obsessed about death as compared to philosophers obsessed with the great unknown of the universe.. Something they will never truly understand, nor will I.

For the young at heart

So it seems like a lot is getting to me, or perhaps I just have too much on my mind. Has that ever happened to you? I'm not sure whether to stay or go. What are the things I'm leaving behind, what are the possibilities of finding new things? I think this uncertainty is what's driving me. eh... like I said, I have a lot on my mind. I seem to talk about it a lot, and bitch about how bad things are, and how I feel so helpless to any huge change in this world. There's just a lot of messed up things that we all have to deal with, and no one's doing anything to change it. Very broad statements, but I can assume everyone reading this can think of a handful of things they know needs to be changed for the better. Whether it be in government, the environment, society... Maybe all I want to be is god.. so I can finally do a 'godly' thing and start making this world better.

People say that god judges humans and is so worried about the human race, but what I'm really thinking is that god is trying to figure out a way to save our planet that we're so righteously destroying. What am I talking about, god isn't real.

Terror

Who thought to call it London Terror? Why would anyone, EVER, want to make something so horrible look so appetizing? Why do they write edible one liners of tricky phrases and bits of horror to entice us to read? This is sick. The fact that it happened is sick enough, but we go ahead and glamorize it into a sick media event. Where streaming videos can take you to the scene of today's horrific, bloody, terrifying event, or catch a glimpse of the special galleries depicting people sobbing, bloody, bruised, dead..

The terrorists are winning.. every time they get media coverage, they're winning. Every time murder, death or tragedy take precedence on our evening news, then they're winning. "They".. meaning those who wish to fight life's problems through aggression and war. One side attacking, the other side defending.. but both at war.

Winning is a matter of pride. People don't want to be stepped on, people don't want to be bullied. Every person has a certain level of pride. Seems like, through our over excess of patriotism via everything red, white and blue.. we, as Americans, are looked at as if we have too much pride. As if we can never be defeated, as if we're always right, and we're always going to win. Kids at school are shooting eachother, people are taking revenge, humans of every age killing other humans of any age... It's getting sickening.

Where is this inspiration for death and violence coming from? Perhaps it's the night after night of dressed up murders on television, or sitting in front of a tv screen watching the violent war on terrorism unfold. No, the television is not to blame. It's the people creating those television programs. They're the sick f*cks who think it's ok to expose society to this crap, and expect everyone to be hunky dory with eachother. Constant reminders of death and war will eventually take its toll on people.. it already is. If not on adults, then surely on the vulnerable sponges that are childrens' brains and imaginations. We're teaching them how to be good serial killers, and thugs and god knows what other bad stuff people are attracted to.

It's a sick world out there in TV land.. even sicker world on the news channels. Steer clear of Colorado, I hear there's a blizzard on the way.

Signing off,
kevinfitz