i hear my pillow calling my name.. but..

HOLY CRAP!!! IT'S ALREADY SUMMER COMING UP!! My brother Ryan and I are heading to Switzerland on May 17th, making our way to the holy land of the new friggin pope, and leaving Rome May 31st. This shall be the muther of all vacations in my dinky little life. And there are plenty awesome trips to top.

It is now 4:35am, and I'm supposed to be asleep. But I have way too much on my mind. Trying to get The Big Picture up and running so I can present it this Friday.

Aside from all that wonderous disastery that is my final semester of college... I've been thinking about other projects I'd like to do when I'm all done. First project would be to finish The Big Picture and make it a complete movie. I would also like to start putting drawing lessons online, perhaps make a section of my site that was for big kids like me that want to know how to draw, but just don't have the right inspiration. I would also like to create Doublethink 4.. I have a lot more illustrations to go in it, and a heck of a lot more to say this time, meaning more weird short stories that I know you all love. You all? Oh yeah, I forgot.. that was just sent out to 32 people. This time I'll try to get circulation.. yeah, right.

I'm also interested in space and astronomy, or weather and metereologoy. I was always into science, but I hated remembering all the detailed facts. Anyway, I'd also like to clean my room really good and throw some shtuff away. I would also like to start recording more on my four track, that always sounds like a good idea. I broke down and bought one of those ipod things, but let me tell you.. I keep listening to music that I had actually forgotten about. The shuffle feature is the coolest.

Ok, I'm done being chatty.. maybe my next project should be to write a book, and then illustrate it, and give people something cool to read. So little time, So much to do. Where do the days go? (Besides sucked away into my computer screen)...

goodnight, goodlater, goodmorning, goodnow

One person makes change

The most important link you can click on is this:

Yahoo celebrates 35 years of Earth Day
Plus 10 ways you can save the Earth in one day, as well as so many resources and information on how to preserver this planet. The single most important thing we can all do for a better future. Cheesy, I know.. But important and very do-able.

The whole human race

The problem with change is that no one wants to do it.. It means having to reconstruct every thought you previously had.. every thought that was comfortable, every thought that made you feel like home, or whatever warm feeling we're attached to. Becoming unattached is one of the hardest things to do.. if you have problem letting things go that is. If you're someone who can just move on and deal with the current reality, then more power to you.

I've had trouble finding out what the meaning behind The Big Picture, or even how to explain what the movie is about.
But beyond that..

Life.. you win some you lose some. That's fair to say isn't it? You meet people, you say goodbye to people, some people you love, some people you hate, some people are of special interest to you, some people you might even have intimate relationships with, and some people you might just pass by walking down the street.

It's as if the only point in life is to find someone to be with... to have that security blanket to hold on to.. to put a ring on a finger, have a few kids, buy a house, a car, go to your jobs, day in.. day out, send kids off to college, have quiet time after 20 so years of being married, you bitch, you argue, you make up, you smile, you come to terms with the fact that you're old and taking pills, upset because you're hair is gone, you're overweight, and you have nothing to show for your life, but a few used cars, a wife that puts up with you and nagging cough.. which the doctors will never cure.

I'm cynical today.. please exuse me. Everyday is the same to me, when I see the lives of everyday humans... I wish I was a tree, or a bird, or wind, or water, or something else.. something that didn't have to learn what taxes were, or make mortgage payments, or worry about being in debt because of the government's new tax laws. I want to see what Janelle sees now, I want to see something farther than this material-hungry world. God, if you're listening, GET ME OUT OF HERE!

Turn me into a star or something... Just something else.. maybe even for a few minutes..

4 tracking my way back to heaven

HAPPY APRIL FOOL'S DAY! For my father and I, today means something totally different.. just thankful we're all here and alive.. Amen.. until next time

(alternate lyrics: Catching everywhere, inside the bottles in the air, wrapped inside it seems, is the pilot with everything.. Birds call, we crawl.. into the woods it will seem. To call everyone in need, a friend for keeps is what I see. Tomorrow comes too quick, it's always that way, put it off a little bit more, we'll all get there, someday. Everyone.. everywhere.. haven't you had your share? Up with the lights off, go put your clothes on, I've had enough of funny things that always go wrong... And the pilot seeking everything, above the clouds and all he seems, to see.. is the distant rain, catching everything, inside the window.. let it rain. I thought I heard you turn around.)