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Here it is.. I'm done.. complete.. finalized.. ready to turn in. I've been thinking for awhile.. why do people tell their life stories on the internet? Is it that they'll find someone who is totally into that, or is it based on ego. The more people who see you, the better you feel.. as though you're making your difference life. It seems we all grow up with this notion that we have to be an individual and we have to do something that no one else can do. It's a huge march to the top of "who can do the coolest thing" first.. who can do it the longest.. and who can outlast everyone else.
I've been recently feeling this, because it seems like all of this shit I'm making is just to get noticed. By whom?! Who am I trying to reach? Who in the audience am I trying to look into the eye, and see if what I've done or said has made a difference.
And they'll judge you on how good of a difference you've made. Just look at our top leaders in this world. They're either good people or they're bad people just because of a few issues they disagree on. One single issue can make someone vote against a candidate. In Iraq they're scared that by choosing the right guy, they might be in more danger. Insurgents won't want him in power, so they'll fight harder.
Man.. take a deep breath. There is so much war in my mind.. There is so much war going on every single day of the year. It's a climate of war and hate... and it's making everyone irritated, scared, fearful, anxious, worried, Screw that thought. How about when you see someone less fortunate than you.. are you supposed to look at them and feel sorry, but blessed that you're not like that? That's twisted. I can't help the fact that some people are born the way they are, or the fact that great disasters fall upon millions of people... I'm not in control, and neither are you.. I don't know about you but I'm pretty sick of feeling guilty of trying to do my own thing.
But then you think.. hey stop f*cking talking, go to bed, wake up tomorrow morning with a better mind on your shoulders.. you'll be fine.
posted by kevin fitz @ 2:28 AM
3 Comments
3 Comments:
Kevin-
Wow, I agree. Especially in art school. And I think about why I have an online diary and I think for me it's an easy way out, so that I can let the people close to me know what I think without having to say it. It's also easier to write to strangers than to those who matter. But I still feel arrogant in thinking that people will actually read my stuff.
And I'm not sure where to go with feeling guilty about being more fortunate than others. It's hard because I'm sure that as fortunate people we have disasters in our lives that those we think are less fortunate than us couldn't imagine, so how can we compare? We're all people. (duh.) It's not important that as one person we help millions, but it is important to help ourselves and [a small number of] people close to us, and it soon becomes that waterfall that everyone talks about in inspirational movies.
So this was longer than I planned on writing...anyways, I'm going to go. Peace,
~Missy
First of all....never give up.
to think that the world is full of nameless automatons is disheartening to me. Do we really live in a world where the individual does not matter? Is the sacrifice necessary for the greater good?
In may of 2002 my cousin was killed in Afghanistan while attempting a mission to rescue some fallen comrades. He volunteered for this mission....for his own death.
To think that we have no purpose on this planet, in this universe, is preposterous. We must live our lives to the fullest, which is different for everyone.
For me it is to leave some sort of positive legacy that inspires others to create and facilitate positive change. How the hell am I going to do that through making websites, logos, cartoons....
I have no idea. What I do know is that these are my skills. This is the hand that hath been dealt to me and I will do whatever I can with what I have. Simply put, if I don't, then why do I exist?
The answer: to create.
Commons
thanks chris.. i'm all better now. sometimes i just wonder my validity in this world.. because there seems to be so many of us out there.. trying to throw our pebbles into the pond.. trying to make the biggest splash. it all seems like competition, which is something i believe causes people to go insane. everyone is trying to 'one-up' the other person.
but for those willing to put down their life's desires and dreams for someoen else's life, well then that's just flat out amazing. some people see the big picture, some people don't. Some people see it through fuzzy eyes, some people see it clearly. And often, some people believe the big picture to be the television they stare at every night before they go to bed. There is a purpose out there.. to create is a great purpose. To make a difference is a great purpose. To be kind to your fellow man and fellow earth, that's a great purpose. What exactly is the purpose in life...............?
to live, to die, to be reborn again. that's the purpose. life in general is the purpose, and we all make it up as we go.
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