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Contact KMFHold that thought
The reason I want to talk to you so much is because I have so much on my mind. I need a voice of reason, I need your opinion, I need, I need, I need.... it's killing me. Why am I looking to people for my answers? Why aren't I out there figuring shit out, without being sentimental, and without regretting a single damn thing? And why - the - hell do I ask so many freaking questions? agh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What is it? Do I need medicine? Do I need some sort of pill to calm this brain? Please don't tell me yes. I'm doing this for attention. I create art to get the attention of people. I talk to get the attention of other people. I live to get attention from other people. How many times could you ever admit that to yourself?
Everyone's out for attention. Everyone wants the eyes on them... they want to change the world, inside their cubicles, and their board rooms.. everyone wants to win. So I'm on the train... how about you? Why not get to the top, why not shine, and have everyone praising your name?
This mind goes far too deap for itself sometimes. It's starting to catch up on the physical well-being of my body, and it's keeping me awake at night. I only have a few releases to get these thoughts out of my brain, but that's it. I wish I was making a living helping people like me. People who don't get this world on the first try... people who have to have things spelled out for them slowly, people who learn primarily from images and colors. Why the hell can't I just fit into their pre-formed mold? Why the hell does it seem like everyone else is a hundred miles away? Everyone... down to the very last person to pass me today. Am I really here?
I know what drives me, I know what loves me, and I know that I love too many things to always be so negative and cynical. This is always sappy, and I write as if someone will understand each word in every line. But no one ever will. And then you get me thinking about god.... and you want to understand why I really have a hard time believing in some ghost with a cool story... i hate to tell you, but it just seems fake to me. My heart isn't in religion anymore... my heart belongs to my passions, whether that be artistic or environmental. Those are the places I find your definition of god... those are my daily prayers and what have you.
I suppose I should try to find someone else to talk to... you seem to be a bit busy at the moment.
posted by kevin fitz @ 2:56 AM
14 Comments
14 Comments:
You are not the only one that thinks like that. I feel that I am not the only one either, and that everyone wonders why he or she doesn't fit into the mold, which means there is no mold.
Praise only gets you so far. Seek the praise of the few people who love you unconditionally--find out what unconditionally is first...do you really know? Don't answer it; think about it.
Really think.
Those people will always love you so you don't have to worry about impressing them. They know what's best for you if you ever get lost.
Watch movies; sometimes they have the answers.
Are you looking for a significant other to save your life? Maybe she's not magical, not a concept. Maybe she's a fucked up person trying to find her own peace of mind.
Whether or not you believe in religion, if you have to struggle with it, the corporate ladder is not the one you need to be trying to climb. There's obviously a different one for you, so screw the one that doesn't fit and go with what feels right.
And when it comes to feeling alone, we're all with you. Take comfort in that because it gives you the opportunity to never stop learning.
wow... thank you. If I knew you personally, I'd thank you in person. Sometimes I just have my bad days.. like everyone else. but I really appreciate the reply.
Not a problem.
We all need someone to give us poetry; hopefully you got a little bit.
Thank me in person whenever you want.
I don't know who you are... hmmmm interesting problem, isn't it?
I am the poetry in your heart. I only told you what you already know.
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