In search of my mind

I'm kind of just floating in this in-between stage. Where everything isn't bad, but it's not really that spectacular. By this I mean, the day to day things aren't exactly what I call productive. It's like when the church has "ordinary time".. or whatever that's supposed to entail. I guess it means that all the other days are just boring and normal compared to the fun and excitement of holidays and special times of the years.

So I'm stuck in this ordinary time. I'm not saying that the fun things I have been doing aren't fun, because all of them have been great life experiences.. but I think what's really getting to me is this job. I don't know why I let it bother me so much. I guess it just doesn't stimulate me in a way that I like to be stimulated. So do I just suck it up and go, or do I find something else? I'm trying my hardest just to keep going with the flow, but all it seems to be getting me is a huge addiction to getting high. I guess I smoke so the I can forget that I'm just trying to make it through to the next day. It's that little thing I can do to break the routine. But then you say, Kevin.. there are a million things you could be doing. You're right, I'm just lazy. Summer is ending and I haven't even been outside that much. that's it.. damn it, I'm tired of this. I gotta make some changes.